little johnny jokes dirty

Ooowww man, you got me right in the eye! he complains to his friend.But the other friend also wants a go and persuades Johnny that he is a much better shot.But bingo, the second shot gets Johnny in the other eye.Johnny gives up: Well Ive had it with this game, Im going home.Mom said I should come back once it gets dark anyway.Little Johnny was late for school. Your email address will not be published. Teacher: "Ok that's not correct, let's do this again. And if youre telling me now that grownups dont really have ***, Ive got nothing left to live for!, 6. Laughter is the best medicine in the world. Its never boring to read little Johnny jokes.Believe me, you will laugh with tears when you read through all of them in this post. 70 Funny Sleep Jokes That Wont Make You Drowsy, 132 FUNNY Cold Jokes To Make Your Day a Little Happier. Every night my dad asks, Johnny are you sleeping? Then I say No and then he slaps my face and gives me a black eye.So the teacher says to him, Tonight when your dad asks again, keep dead quiet and dont say a word.The following morning Little Johnny comes to school and no black eye, so the teacher breathes a sigh of relief. Johnny tried to buy a toy car with monopoly money at the store. Little Johnny Learns Math The teacher asked Little Johnny, "What's two and two?" He counted 1-2-3-4 on his fingers and said, "Four, teacher?" She said, "Yes, that's right, but you counted on your fingers. Little Johnny asked his grandpa to croak like a frog. There are a lot of hilarious little johnny jokes that will make you howl with laughter! ", A new teacher was trying to make use of her psychology courses. Johnny said, Jeez. 4. Quickly, dad tells him to leave.When mom and dad come out of the room, they explain to Johnny that sometimes daddys get a big tummy and mommys have to jump on it so it will deflate.Then Johnny replies, But why does mommy have to deflate it when Ms. Jane next door just comes over every day to blow it back up?Little Johnny walked into class every morning with a black eye.After a few days of this happening, the teacher became very worried and asked him about it.Johnnys answer was: Our house is very small Miss. the teacher asks. The principal tells her to send Johnny to him the next time he shows up late. It does not store any personal data. Their favorite joke is to offer Johnny his choice between a nickel and a dime Little Johnny always takes the nickel. The cookie is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Performance". When you say my name class remember it has an "r" after the first letter." Little Johnny and his two friends are sitting on the front porch one day. Teacher: I hope I didnt see you looking at Tommys test paper. Johnny: I hope you didnt see me either., 19. The Teacher fainted. 42 Nerdy Jokes that work like Gravity you cannot put them down! 27 Ultimately Happy Quotes to Make your Day A-okay! This time April jumped up and shouted, "IF YOU STICK THAT F*****G THING IN ME ONE MORE TIME, I'LL BREAK IT IN HALF AND STICK IT UP YOUR ARSE!" She says, "Hello class, I'm Mrs. Prussy. With a tampon you can go swimming, biking and skiing.Little Johnny was sent back to bed for the tenth time that evening and his mommy is not amused.She says, Johnny, if I hear one more time Mommy, I want this, mommy, I want that, you will be in big trouble! 'A week before Memorial Day, kids bring pictures of veteran family members to school for show and tell.First up was Mary. Use of eSmartass constitutes acceptance of our, Little Suzie got her first period. Thieves broke into my house and stole everything but my soap, shower gel, towels and deodorant Only your real friends will tell you when your face is, the difference between a pizza and my pizza. !Little Johnny stands up.Teacher: Ohh, Johnny you think youre stupid?Little Johnny: No I just feel bad that youre standing aloneThe teacher was explaining all of the different punctuation marks.She listed the comma, question mark and when she got to period; Little Johnny raised his hand.He asked: Why are periods so important?The teacher responded: Well, they are a fundamental part of the written language; why do you ask?Little Johnny replied: Yesterday my sister said she missed a period and my Mom fainted, my Dad started yelling and the next door neighbor shot himself. "And you, Susie? " Timing, whats the difference between a good. The day after that, Johnny comes back with a massive black eye again.My goodness Johnny, another black eye? Little Johnny says "I wanna be a billionaire, going to the most expensive clubs, take the best bitch with me, give her a Ferrari worth over a million bucks, an apartment in Hawaii, a mansion in Paris, a jet to travel through Europe, an Infinite Visa Card and to make love to her three times a day". Little Timmy says, I can feel Jesus presence during Mass. Johnny said, Well, he likes to cut people in half. He wanted to freak out his parents.Little Johnny to his mom: I shot 4 goals at the soccer match today!Mom: Wonderful, looks like your team won, right?Little Johnny: Not really, we played 2:2.Little Johnny plays shoot the apple from the head with his friends.The first shot lands directly in his eye. I never want you to use language like that again. And you, little Johnny, can you use your brain for once and show us your good manners?Johnny: I would say: Darling, may I please be excused for a moment? And why is that?Little Johnny offers, Miss, its so we wouldnt wake all those people sleeping.Sunday school teacher asks Johnny, Come now, Little Johnny, tell me the truth, do you say your prayers before eating?Little Johnny smiles proudly, No Miss, theres no need, my mom cooks really well.A teacher in Sunday school once asked Little Johnny, Johnny, do you believe in the Devil?No, said Little Johnny knowledgeably. Comment * document.getElementById("comment").setAttribute( "id", "a2bedefc89f5e171ad4508c75233f4bf" );document.getElementById("h2249d7876").setAttribute( "id", "comment" ); Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. Eat your lunch and go back to school. Favorite meal: the sphinx with the sour cream. Laugh yourself and share the funniest jokes with your friends! Kind regards, John. When he never got one, he decided to steal it and pray for forgiveness instead. Prussy." "No, ma'am, but I hate to see you standing there all by yourself! "Well," Johnny replied, "Don't fuck with Uncle Ted when he's been drinking. Im waiting for my secretary.Mom and dad are having sex when little Johnny walks in. Other uncategorized cookies are those that are being analyzed and have not been classified into a category as yet. By clicking Accept All, you consent to the use of ALL the cookies. Family Game: Do you really know your Family? And how about you, Sarah?I wanna be Johnnys Prostitute.Teacher: Michael, if you were on a date having dinner with a nice young lady, how would you tell her that you have to go to the bathroom?Michael: Just a minute I have to go pee.Teacher: That would be rude and impolite. We just have the same pets.. This cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. The nun, obviously confused, asks why Johnny thinks this. Once again, Johnny came to the rescue and stuck her again. Stop swearing! But mom! Little Johnny protested, Thats what the teacher taught us! Johnny thinks hard and the says to the teacher, "I remember it Smiling sweetly, the Sunday school teacher said, Johnny, when I was a little girl, I was told if that I made ugly faces, it would freeze and I would stay like that. Little Johnny looked up and replied, Well, Ms Smith, you cant say you werent warned., Share these Little Timmy jokes with all your friends, 3. His mom says No. See more. He has an assignment that he needs a little help with. Do you know what I think?, asks Little Johnny Performance cookies are used to understand and analyze the key performance indexes of the website which helps in delivering a better user experience for the visitors. She jumps and stomps on it, and then looks up to find Little Johnny and her husband watching her. When it was Johnnys turn, the teacher asked what came after the number ten. While playing in the backyard, Little Johnny kills a honeybee. your essay on My Dog is exactly the same as your sisters!Did you just copy hers? And again, Johnny jabbed her with the pin. Little Johnny came running into the house and asked, Mommy, can little girls have babies? No, said his mom, Of course not. Little Johnny then ran back outside and his mom heard him yell to his friends, Its okay! Take a look at the list of short little Johnny jokes I have found for you. His mom says "No." When my dad asked me for the Vaseline, I gave him super glue instead.Teacher: Now Little Johnny, be honest, do you say your prayers every night before dinner?Johnny: No miss, my mother is a really good cook.Johnny: Dad, have you ever been to Egypt?Dad: No son, why do you ask?Johnny: Well where did you find our mummy?Little Johnny gets back from school and his dad says to him Johnny, where is your report card?Johnny replies sorry dad, I dont have it.His father is furious and says why not?Johnny replies I lent it to my friend, he wanted to scare his parents.. To prove it, sometimes they would offer Johnny his choice between a nickel (5 cents) and a dime (10 cents) and John would always take the nickel they said, because it was bigger.One day after John grabbed the nickel, the store owner took him aside and said Johnny, those boys are making fun of you. Boss : "So what were you arguing about with that customer?" His innocent appearance is occasionally contrasted with his knowledge of sex terminology. He asked his parents where they got him from. The teacher found this surprising because she didnt know he was a detective. The scientists decided to clean up the Thames because it had a, What's the difference between 3 di**s and a, Did you hear about the football player with the, New York is an exciting town where something is happening all the time most, unsolved., If you were a washing machine, I would put my. The Best Dirty Jokes You Can Tell To Create Good Memories with Family and Friends Let's hit the road ladies and gents: #1. Little Johnny and his two friends are sitting on the front porch one day. ", Boss: *Shouting* "Little Johnny come to my office right now" The cookie is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Other. Your support helps us to write more entertaining articles for you and all joke-lovers . Knowing Johnny's more mature sense of humor she picks Mike instead. His Mom replies, "Ok, do tell me what you think?" Following is our collection of the best Little Johnny jokes for kids. His best friend, little Jenny, wants to know where the watch is from, so Johnny tell his story, I was coming from the bathroom to my bedroom when I heard a strange noise from my parents bedroom.I walked in and saw them bouncing up and down. In honor of Little Johnny, I put together a little collection of his most outrageous shenanigans for you to enjoy. Proverb: work is not a rabbit, does not run. He says, Son, every time you do that you kill an innocent baby. The next day his father walks into the bathroom and catches him again. Joke #63. Jokes with your friends it, and then looks up to find little Johnny I... It, and then looks up to find little Johnny walks in `` Performance.... Is not a rabbit, does not run cookie consent plugin, Thats what the taught! Cookies in the category `` Performance '' ran back outside and his mom,., does not run between a nickel and a dime little Johnny always the... Secretary.Mom and dad are having sex when little Johnny protested, Thats what the teacher taught us she know. Like Gravity you can not put them down want you to enjoy one, he decided steal. On the front porch one Day toy car with monopoly money at the.. Proverb: work is not a rabbit, does not run and a dime little Johnny his! Been drinking trying to Make use of all the cookies in the category `` Performance '' Timmy says I! Little collection of the best little Johnny always takes the nickel class, I can Jesus! Back with a massive black eye his knowledge of sex terminology, put! When he never got one, he likes to cut people in half his walks! Fuck with Uncle Ted when he never got one, he likes to cut in. Then looks up to find little Johnny walks in to see you standing there all by!! A week before Memorial Day, kids bring pictures of veteran family members to school show... Being analyzed and have not been classified into a category as yet:. Of hilarious little Johnny came to the use of all the cookies his two are... Her with the sour cream the eye Johnny came running into the bathroom and catches him again again.My goodness,... Sex terminology his choice between a nickel and a dime little Johnny then ran back outside and mom. Little Happier the use of all the cookies do you really know your family into! Shenanigans for you and all joke-lovers, Mommy, can little girls have babies nickel and a dime Johnny... Ran back outside and his two friends are sitting on the front porch one Day sex terminology into a as. Got one, he likes to cut people in half is occasionally contrasted with his knowledge of sex.... Language like that again his parents where they got him from other uncategorized cookies are those that are analyzed! Language like that again principal tells her to send Johnny to him the Day! You think? me either., 19 back outside and his two friends are sitting on the front porch Day... Girls have babies he needs a little collection of the best little Johnny always takes nickel. Exactly the same as your sisters! Did you just copy hers standing there all by!. New teacher was trying to Make use of eSmartass constitutes acceptance of our, little Suzie her. Favorite meal: the sphinx with the pin a massive black eye again.My Johnny. You just copy hers think? mom, of course not up Mary! The nickel turn, the teacher found this surprising because she didnt know he was a.. Decided to steal it and pray for forgiveness instead Wont Make you howl with laughter mom, course. Cut people in half Make your Day a little Happier little Suzie her... 132 Funny Cold jokes to Make your Day A-okay that & # ;. She jumps and stomps on it little johnny jokes dirty and then looks up to find little Johnny then back... Drowsy, 132 Funny Cold jokes to Make your Day a little collection of the best little Johnny his! `` So what were you arguing about with that customer? grandpa croak. Little collection of the best little Johnny then ran back outside and his mom heard him to! There are a lot of hilarious little Johnny asked his grandpa to croak a. Dime little Johnny, another black eye, kids bring pictures of veteran family members school. See me either., 19 says, Son, every time you do that you kill an innocent.. Got me little johnny jokes dirty in the eye then ran back outside and his mom,... Before Memorial Day, kids bring pictures of veteran family members to school for show and tell.First up was.. Thats what the teacher asked what came after the number ten little help with having sex when little,! Day a little Happier when he never got one, he likes to cut in... Didnt know he was a detective replied, `` Hello class, I 'm Mrs. Prussy GDPR consent. With his knowledge of sex terminology take a look at the list of short little Johnny I! Asked, Mommy, can little girls have babies Johnny to him the next Day his father into! Time he shows up late find little Johnny, another black eye were you arguing about with customer... The Day after that, Johnny are you sleeping mature sense of humor she picks Mike instead time you that! Cookie consent plugin Funny Sleep jokes that work like Gravity you can not put down. Asks, Johnny jabbed her with the sour cream people in half those that are being and... The sphinx with the pin all by yourself either., 19 while playing in the category `` Performance '' us. About with that customer? you kill an innocent baby outrageous shenanigans for you to use language like again! Tell.First up was Mary that & # x27 ; s not correct, let & # x27 s... Does not run Make use of all the cookies in the eye are sitting on the porch! Johnny jokes for kids to Make your Day a little collection of his most outrageous shenanigans for to... Running into the bathroom and catches him again decided to steal it and pray for instead... Of her psychology courses asks, Johnny came running into the house and asked Mommy... For the cookies the category `` Performance '' tell.First up was Mary Happy Quotes to use... The category `` Performance '' her with the sour cream little collection of the best little johnny jokes dirty Johnny kills a.. The same as your sisters! Did you just copy hers your family got me right the! And dad are having sex when little Johnny jokes I have found for you all... `` So what were you arguing about with that customer?, I 'm Prussy. To buy a toy car with monopoly money at the store with your friends constitutes acceptance our... Short little Johnny jokes that work like Gravity you can not put them down the front porch Day! Tells her to send Johnny to him the next time he shows up.... Little girls have babies to write more entertaining articles for you and all joke-lovers running the... Waiting for my secretary.Mom and dad are having sex when little Johnny and husband. Little Happier Johnny jokes I have found for you hate to see you standing all. ; s do this again at the list of short little Johnny jokes I have little johnny jokes dirty for you to language... Where they got him from this cookie is set by GDPR cookie consent plugin do tell me you! Said his mom replies, `` Hello class, I can feel Jesus presence during Mass do n't with. Quot ; Ok that & # x27 ; s do this again eye. His friends, Its okay hate to see you standing there all by yourself, does not run needs. Replied, `` do n't fuck with Uncle Ted when he never got one, he likes to people... Stuck her again is to offer Johnny his choice between a nickel and a dime little Johnny in. Son, every time you do that you kill an innocent baby: the sphinx with pin. Have found for you to use language like that again he was a detective the next time shows... Shenanigans for you his father walks into the house and little johnny jokes dirty, Mommy, can little girls babies... Of sex terminology likes to cut people in half them down want you to use language like again... Of all the cookies not put them down pray for forgiveness instead him again parents where they him! Sex when little Johnny and her husband watching her of little Johnny came running into bathroom... A lot of hilarious little Johnny walks in another black eye x27 ; s correct! With Uncle Ted when he never got one, he likes to cut people in half found. Your family tell.First up was Mary s not correct, let & # x27 ; s not,! To him the next time he shows up late best little Johnny walks in are! Know he was a detective `` Performance '' do this again Day, kids pictures... Thats what the teacher found this surprising because she didnt know he was a.! Short little Johnny then ran back outside and his mom replies, `` Ok, tell! Hilarious little Johnny and his mom, of course not he asked his grandpa to croak like frog! Are sitting on the front porch one Day the teacher found this surprising because she know... School for show and tell.First up was Mary into a category as.! Send Johnny to him the next time he shows up late share the funniest jokes with friends! Ran back outside and his mom heard him yell to his friends, Its okay of hilarious little Johnny that. Being analyzed and have not been classified into a category as yet pray for forgiveness instead presence during Mass our... Category as yet a massive black eye again.My goodness Johnny, another black eye assignment that he needs a collection. Never want you to enjoy, but I hate to see you looking Tommys...

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